The 'three greatest gifts’ we can give one another
Column: Beyond Words
By Deborah Rose
All around, white and colored lights now illuminate the night.
They outline rooftops, and dress shrubs and bare tree limbs. Some lights even flicker.
Inflatable Santas, reindeer, snowmen, nutcrackers, and Christmas trees draw smiles from motorists that pass by the lawns of homes and businesses on which these decorations proudly stand.
Along the New Milford Village Green, 17 cut trees from Angevine Farm in Warren and erected and lighted by the New Milford United Methodist Church’s Men’s Club dot the beautiful feature of this New England town.
Menorahs adorn hearth mantles and windows at homes for Hannukah, and colorful African art, fabrics, and fresh fruit offer celebratory décor for Kwanzaa in the community.
It is the holiday season, a season that brings happiness and celebrates the joy of giving.
However, the holidays are not joyful, bright, or filled with spirit for all.
Some face Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), a type of depression that occurs during the fall and winter when there's less sunlight and shorter days.
Some find being without a loved one near, either due to distance or by death, difficult. Feelings of emptiness and grief can be a heavy weight to carry.
The general blues and depression related to situational or long-term challenges can also wreak havoc on one’s holiday spirits.
It’s been decades since I first experienced the holiday blues due to grief following the death of a loved one.
The thought of even putting up – let alone decorating – a tree was the farthest thing from my mind this one particular year. I was a teen at the time, and all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and let the days pass because I lacked energy, motivation, inspiration, and spirit. I didn’t want to be around anyone.
A few days before Christmas, though, I wanted to be strong for my mom, who had lost the love of her life. So, I mustered the energy to walk 20 feet from my front door to cut down one small branch of a pine tree that fit just perfect in a glass vase on a small table in the living room.
It was my Charlie Brown Christmas. And, looking back, probably one of my favorite Christmases, in part due to its simplicity, and the depth of my vulnerability in grief that, ironically, somehow grounded me and provided healing.
Since then, I’ve celebrated plenty of joyful holidays, and I’ve also had a fair share of less-spirited holidays.
What I try to keep in mind when I’m in a funk at this time of year is this: I am not alone.
When we make a conscious decision to rest our busy thoughts and reduce our activities and make time reflect on ourselves and those around us, we are able to see that we are all human and face similar stresses, experiences, and feelings.
We are threaded more by what we share in common than what we do not.
As we soon enter winter and approach the variety of holidays in the coming weeks, let us remember that kindness, patience and compassion are three of the greatest gifts we can not only give to ourselves, but to one another.
